I cried today for the second time in three years, so, quite the occasion.  You’d think I’d cry all the time, but I have managed at some point, I don’t know when it happened, to completely internalise my tears.  It takes something pretty significant to make me cry these days.  I feel like crying plenty of times, but whatever part of my brain communicates with my tear ducts I think is permanently on strike.  The first time I cried recently it was after a 10 hour long panic attack.  It was epic – the tears literally exploded out of my eyes.  Forget projectile vomiting, try projectile tears!  Today was just a frickin day-long trickle (on the one rare day where I was up, out and about in public, entertaining my child and a friend, and generally just not being too ill).  The shit hit the fan and I sprung a leak and the effing plumber was nowhere to be found.  I won’t say what set this off.  Can’t go there……….

My two happiness givers are here.  One is giggling at an animated movie they’ve probably already watched and one is nagging me for food.  I’ll let you decide which one is the adult.  So why spoil their mood.  I can’t bear that.  So I’m hiding, and leaking all over my face.  It’s stopping now, and I always feel like laughing after crying.  I’d forgotten that about myself.  So ha ha ha!  I’ll probably be on a real high for a few hours now.  Who put me on this rollercoaster?