Hey, hello, hi.  Welcome to all who may be reading.  My life has three main themes:  Crohn’s disease, depression and anxiety, plus single parenting and family.  I live on a tiny island, run my own business after trying out two previous careers, and just basically try to find the humour in each challenging day.  I’ve been told my whole life to ‘smile’ about it.  So, that’s what I do.  I Slap a Smile on It.  If you can read this and laugh and relate – that’s great.

I never realised how much I was bottling things up until my Crohn’s relapsed three years ago (I’d been in remission, mostly, for nearly 20 years after major surgery and kicking the grim reaper back to where he came from).

One day, visiting my specialist for the like 20th time in six months, he started laughing at me.  Apparently our consultations go like this: Doc: “Hi how are you doing today?” Me: “Hey, I’m good!  How are you?”.  I guess that’s why whatever medical professional I see (and there’s a lot) looks at me strangely wondering why the hell I’m in their office.  It’s my standard response.  I have to actually sit down and remember that I’m there to actually tell them the truth about why I need help.  My specialist loves it.  He says I’m the only patient he has that wants to know how he is when we’re meant to be talking about me.

I decided to start writing this blog when social media started sending me endless MEMEs with which I would amuse myself by either agreeing with or arguing with.  

So, you’ll probably see a lot of those here.  Sometimes I like to think of my life through song lyrics……so there’s a good chance you’ll see a good few song references here too.  Just a head’s up.

What you won’t see here?  Endless medical advice, diet advice, mental health tips, etc.  There is no point in me telling you what makes up my 28 pills a day.  Everyone has a different journey, different body, different environment and different upbringing.  I’ve joined many support groups etc and they serve their purpose.  Everyone can share their story, feel connected, vent their frustrations, and get advice from fellow sufferers.  The problem I find is that not many people really share the deep stuff.  I read posts and come away feeling like I’m the most fucked up person of them all.  There are some good blogs, vlogs etc out there which can lighten the mood, I’m sure I’ll be mentioning them.

Words that feature far too much in my vocabulary and life in general: ouch, yes (my favourite and most dangerous word), Crohn’s, depression, anxiety, thrombophyllia, diabetes, edometriosis, drugs, addict (not me), toilet paper (me), single parenting, divorce, adoption, expat, business owner, exhausted, and many, many f-bombs.  AND the big one of course……..”smile!”.